NO BULLYING POLICY….YEAH RIGHT!

Just when you think things are going great…..BAM…….something unexpected happens. At first you think, this really sucks, what am I going to do? Being a single mom, sometimes it feels like everything is crashing down on you at once. I recently had to make a big decision for my daughter. For her well being, her mental  health, and my sanity we decided to homeschool. Before I get into the reasons why we made this decision just know that we were kind of forced into it.

The beginning of your Middle school years should be exciting, fun, and more freedom. At least that is how it was for my daughter at first. She was excited to be a part of something bigger than herself. She decided to join the band. Of course I encouraged her since I myself was a band kid. She finally picked her instrument, after a few weeks of being in school. She chose the flute, and yes, I did cringe a little since I was a brass player myself. But, I was also just excited she decided to be in the band and she was forging her own path.

School was going pretty good, the little Ginger really liked all of her teachers. Especially her Excel teacher. She happened to be the only girl in that class so she didn’t have to deal with all of the “girl drama”. She was making excellent grades, her average in her classes were between 100-93. Honestly, I’m a really lucky mom. I’ve been very blessed to have such an intelligent, talented, kind hearted girl. She has never been in trouble at school and has won numerous awards over the years. I am telling you all of this to give you an insight into the kind of person my daughter is. She is the one who sticks up for others when they are being mistreated. She is also the kind of person who does her best to stay out of drama and keep her friends out of it as well.

At the end of last school year, while she was still handicapped (Frieberg’s Disease). She began to have trouble with a girl who she THOUGHT was her friend. But, it turns out the girl was no friend at all. The little Ginger ( let’s just call her G from now on, lol) quit talking to the girl and then she felt like she was being ostracized by her. I told her that I would inform the school that the girl is bullying her but she said no. It’s almost the end of the year, I can handle it. So I let it go.

Fast forward to the beginning of the new school year. New school, new faces, new everything! As I stated before G was really excited about this new year. She was happy with her teachers, her friends, everything. Until the same girl who was giving her trouble last year walked up to her and asked to be friends again. G told her no, she didn’t want to be friends. It was best if they just didn’t talk to each other. From that moment on the girl has been out to get G.

I often wonder where kids like this learn this sort of behavior from. It started off with the girl spreading rumors about other people and saying that G is the one who said it. As you can imagine the rumors spread like wildfire. People G doesn’t even know started giving her dirty looks, trying to trip her in the halls, and just being nasty to her. She knew instantly where it was all coming from. The other girl, let’s call her L, of course acted innocent the whole time. She even spread rumors about herself saying G said all sorts of nasty things.

All the while L was harassing G outside of school on social media. Things started to get pretty bad, I noticed G would be in a horrible mood when I picked her up from school. Sometimes on the verge of tears and just angry. She didn’t want me to go to the school about it just yet. So, I was surprised when one day she told me that she went to the office about the girl. Her and another girl ( we will call this girl A), went to the office to inform the school that L kept bullying them.

Let’s just say that didn’t go very well. Of course L lied saying that G and A had been talking about her. The lady in the office made them all apologize, even though my daughter and A had done nothing wrong. The lady also told them that if they were caught talking about each other again they would get demerits. L goes out of the office before G and A and into the gym. That’s when G and A hear L talking very loudly about them. It made G so upset that she agreed to me going to the school. This happened on a Friday.

Over the weekend L was messaging G, telling her horrible things, lying, and threatening her. I was going to the school on the following Monday anyway so at least I would have some actual proof that the girl was harassing my daughter. G got nervous over the weekend and didn’t want me to go to the school on Monday. So I kept her home because we were leaving for our vacation that day anyway.

It was about mid-morning when I got a phone call from the school. L, decided to go to the office and tell them that G had told her to go kill herself. She had also been telling her friends that she was cutting herself because of G. These are SERIOUS accusations. This little girl has taken her bullying to a whole other level. She has been out to ruin my daughter’s reputation and she thinks she has succeeded. The lady from the school told me that the girl has shown no proof but says that she has some. Another lie, of course she has none because my daughter would never tell anyone that. We take mental health in our house very seriously.

The lady tells me that her mother is handling the little girl. I said ok, we are going on vacation this week, so MAYBE things will settle down if her mother gets the little girl the help she obviously needs. I also informed the lady of the whole history of this little girl’s vendetta against my daughter. She brushed it off by saying well they are at that age, and hormones and such. All I could think was SERIOUSLY?? I tell you my daughter has been bullied for a year and that’s all you have to say about it?

It was in that moment I knew in my heart I could not send my daughter back to that school. Thanks to this girl, other people were threatening my daughter. Because they think the other girl is telling the truth. She has had to delete all of her social media accounts ( really she only had 2), and we have had to adjust our lives.

We went on vacation to one of the most magical places on earth Disney World, and tried to forget about all of the mess at home. It worked in a way, the ugly comments followed my daughter every time she posted a picture on Instagram. That is when I told her to just delete it and her other social media accounts. By the time we got back from Disney World, the little girl had informed everyone that she had G arrested. That’s why she wasn’t at school for the week. G still keeps in contact with her closest friends from school and apparently L is telling everyone G is in Alternative school.

Even though G is no longer at school the girl is STILL trying to smear her name. WHERE IS THIS GIRL LEARNING THIS BEHAVIOR FROM? That is one of my biggest questions. Can her parents not see that this behavior is a cry for help? Do they not monitor her social media/phone? These girls are only 11/12 years old. I just hope the girl gets the help she so desperately needs.

G and I are now looking at this homeschooling as a blessing in disguise. Because now, we have more freedom to go places whenever we want. Of course I still have to work but still, we can take trips while other kids are in school. I don’t have to confine my time off to when she is out of school. We are looking at this as a new chapter in our lives and we will enjoy this time as much as we can. This just means more adventures for us!

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